I’m not one to make New Year’s Resolutions. For me, they’re an effort in failure. I hate failure, I try to avoid it at all costs. Of course I do fail, but because I have the ability to place myself in alternate universes in my mind (particularly universes that have me winning and people cheering me on at all times) I’m able to erase all failure memories from my mind. It’s a defense mechanism designed to keep the crazies away – never mind that it’s a crazy notion to begin with – we’ll just opt to see things my way.
But, because I had a moment of clarity recently, I found myself recalling past New Year’s resolutions and was highly disappointed in myself. I had vowed to work out more…to put my health at the top of my to-do list. Yeh, right, that’s why I’m sitting in front of my computer, slurping yet another jolt of a caffeine enriched diet of straight up black coffee, inhaling an oversize cinnamon streusel coffee cake muffin and feeling my ass actually spread like cheez-wiz over the sides of my kitchen chair. But….I am taking the dog for a walk later this morning…that should tighten the spread a miniscule amount.
I’m giving some thought now about some other brilliant resolutions I came up with over the years, that at the time I thought were pretty great, but in hindsight were just plain lame.
Accepting the flaws in the people around me – despite the fact that being a judgmental a**hole about everyone else’s flaws, was (and still is) a big flaw of my own. What’s that saying? “Judge not, lest ye be judged?” Yeh, it’s kinda like that.
Not being so hard on my kids – even though going easy on them meant I was in for a heck of a lot more grief than if I just let them get away with everything.
To be more understanding and compassionate to those who were less fortunate than me – although I’m not sure how less fortunate one could get than me right now, but I know you’re there and hey, I understand. In fact, I think this particular resolution is one to keep…always.
To stop being so whiny and quit complaining – nobody listens to it anyway….people just tune me out by saying, “Whatever, Deb….get over it.”
So what exactly am I expecting from the year 2014? Absolutely nothing. It’s out of my hands anyway. The world’s gonna keep turning, the sun’s gonna come up and night is gonna fall. Our kids will still be our kids. We’re still gonna fall in and out of love and it’s all going to play out exactly as its supposed to.
I guess that’s the resolution…getting on with things and living my life.
From my book: