The Bottle

The distance grows

Time apart seems like death

distant

Knowing that the space will spread

Until the gap becomes a black hole

distant 5

Feeling as though the tunnel is too long

Too far

To reach you

distant 6

Yelling out your name

An echo my only answer

distant 2

Throwing out a lifeline

Filled with love

And hope

Begging you to grab it

In order to save you from

Your lonely solitude of depression and despair

distant 3

But the bottle

Battles me each day

Taking you further and further into the blackness

distant 4

I don’t know how long I can hold on

Without eventually following you into the abyss

In order to be with you

If it’s the only way to hold you.

distant 7

 

Portrait of Lies

your eyes see a picture of perfection

but buried beneath the beautiful

package is something outside the truth

man

secrets, lies, deception

all tumble over one another

in a wildly beating heart

scared

a heart panicked at discovery

and the inevitable destination

of a life carefully crafted

sly smile

a smile tricked out at the corners

speaks of a lover kept secret

eyes gazing into a memory of

citrusy bedrooms and paisley bedspreads

where two bodies writhe in desperate abandon

cheating

chasing away lost hope and daily drudgery

looking to find a past youth

and forgotten excitement

guilt

but ends with guilt weighing heavily

as true love smiles tenderly

from a portrait of perfection.

 

From my book:

http://www.amazon.com/This-Aint-Shakespeare-Sure-Real/dp/1413745318/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423050857&sr=8-1&keywords=this+ain%27t+shakespeare

A Vision of Peace

1002419_10200478674518959_1822352968_n

My brother comes to me in a dream

And speaks to my heart

The silence penetrates the stillness

A mist-like fog swallows my body

woman dreaming 4

My arms outstretched

But I touch nothing

A feathery lightness grazes my shoulder

Then is gone

gentle spirit

A quiet whisper and a playful breeze

Gently lifts my hair

But I see nothing

A soft caress trails across my arm

Giving me a sense of something known

But forgotten

loving spirit

A feeling of trust overwhelms

A shadowy face appears

A well-loved smile shines

Through the haze

ray of sunshine

The voice

Tells me my worries

Can be put aside

His soul is at peace

sunset

His diseased body

Now left behind

His mind is at ease

My anxieties fade away

My brother is finally free

a vision of peace

 

From my book:

http://www.amazon.com/This-Aint-Shakespeare-Sure-Real/dp/1413745318/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423050857&sr=8-1&keywords=this+ain%27t+shakespeare

 

The Journey

the journey

Tears of sadness are a river that turns into an ocean.

A smile that lifts only at the corners when asked, “How are you doing?”

lying smiles

Lies behind the smile that answers, “I’m fine.”

lost love

Questions bounce through her head.

Love, why has it gone? Where did it go?

Yesterday they were together, they had loved so deeply.

Listening to the radio, every song reminding her of him.

Screaming as the pain rips into her soul. Their love was supposed to last forever.

Alone in their bed. His warmth just a memory.

facing the truth

Facing the truth. Their needs were not the same. They could never have been forever.

Learning to love herself, to find who she was, to live on her own terms.

Tears of release and peace.

peace 2

Full circle she has come.

the journey 2

 

 

From my book:

http://www.amazon.com/This-Aint-Shakespeare-Sure-Real/dp/1413745318/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423050857&sr=8-1&keywords=this+ain%27t+shakespeare

It’s Just Love

love letters

It doesn’t have to be said

It doesn’t have to be written

Words are just words.

 

hand-caressing-face-i8

It’s a touch

A hug

An embrace

 

look of love

A caress

A look

 

whispering lovers

It’s listening

Confiding

Understanding

 

pure love

It’s giving

Without taking

 

full moon

It’s simply being

And knowing

That you don’t have to be together,

To be together.

 

lovers

It’s not that hard to love.

Because it just is.

 

Fear is a Four Letter Word

I was afraid, until I wasn’t.

afraid

I thought I needed someone to pay my way, until I didn’t.

in the arena

I thought I was invalid, my opinions worth nothing, until I learned my value.

lost

I believed I wasn’t strong enough, until I became strong.

she could

My pride and dignity took a blow, but I came out fighting.

strong woman

Regret and indecision were my middle name, until I changed it.

single

I worried that love may never come my way again, but found it within.

love yourself

Be happy and happiness will find you.

happy girl

Heart Over Head

heart over head

 

I’ve always been a firm believer in listening to what your heart is telling you. Over the years others have told me, “Listen to your heart, if it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.” Truer words have never been said.

In high school, things were rough. Keeping out of trouble, when I hung out with kids who were trouble, was a challenge. We weren’t the tire-slashing, breaking and entering kind of trouble. We were more the wise-ass, smart-mouth kind of trouble. As kids, we didn’t use our heads when making plans to do things, so listening to my heart was how I made my decisions. I never wanted to appear to be “uncool” in front of my peers so I never really listened to my head when it was telling me not to smoke or drink, but my heart wanted those friends and I let it guide my decision on whether the fun they were offering was going to be harmless or put us too deep into outhouse.

When someone would tell me, “that boy is trouble.”  I wouldn’t listen, even though my head knew the person was right and I was sure to get a broken heart, my heart spoke louder; telling me to go for it because he was the kind of trouble a girl only gets one shot at and that she might as well enjoy it while she could.

When I became pregnant with my first child, I worried about what kind of mother I’d be. I’d never had a baby, what did I know about taking care of a baby? How was I going to be able to raise a child, when I was just a naïve young woman? My head pounded with anxiety, but my heart was screaming at me to listen. It told me that no matter what mistakes I was bound to make, the love I had for my child would outweigh my ineptitude.

I can’t begin to count how many times throughout the years that I’ve been undecided about the choices I’ve had to make, and in the end decided to simply listen to what my heart was telling me. My head would be screaming, “No! Don’t do it!” And my heart would override my head.

Recently, my life has been ruled by my heart. For years I’ve been living and listening to my head. After a rocky marriage and riding an unending roller coaster ride, I decided to get off the ride and try to find some solid ground. There were a million and one reasons to stay on the ride, but only one to get off. And my head almost won with its logic and reason, but my heart spoke up for the first time in a long time. It told me that it was finally time to start thinking about what makes me happy and not what makes everyone else happy; that I had been putting everyone else’s needs before mine for so long that I had completely forgotten what I needed.

My head told me that it wasn’t going to be easy being on my own, but my heart chirped in again. “Easy isn’t always easy.”

The heart always knows.

 

love louder