The Bottle

The distance grows

Time apart seems like death


Knowing that the space will spread

Until the gap becomes a black hole

distant 5

Feeling as though the tunnel is too long

Too far

To reach you

distant 6

Yelling out your name

An echo my only answer

distant 2

Throwing out a lifeline

Filled with love

And hope

Begging you to grab it

In order to save you from

Your lonely solitude of depression and despair

distant 3

But the bottle

Battles me each day

Taking you further and further into the blackness

distant 4

I don’t know how long I can hold on

Without eventually following you into the abyss

In order to be with you

If it’s the only way to hold you.

distant 7



Portrait of Lies

your eyes see a picture of perfection

but buried beneath the beautiful

package is something outside the truth


secrets, lies, deception

all tumble over one another

in a wildly beating heart


a heart panicked at discovery

and the inevitable destination

of a life carefully crafted

sly smile

a smile tricked out at the corners

speaks of a lover kept secret

eyes gazing into a memory of

citrusy bedrooms and paisley bedspreads

where two bodies writhe in desperate abandon


chasing away lost hope and daily drudgery

looking to find a past youth

and forgotten excitement


but ends with guilt weighing heavily

as true love smiles tenderly

from a portrait of perfection.


From my book:

The Biggest Hurt

I sit with a beer  in one hand, a cigarette in the other

beer and cigarette

I watch the cars drive by, on their way to where?

Home? Walmart? Work?


In a hurry, worried about how to make the rent

The mortgage, if their wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriend

Are gonna be pissy or happy.

Are they gonna get laid or shut out?

My thoughts are of you.


I drink to forget you.

Drink to forget me.

How we can’t be in the same room with one another

Without wanting to be together.


About how when it’s over, you can just leave

without another thought of me

Until your loins burn and your gut hungers for my touch

My lips, my mouth.

Then you think of me

Your needs, your desires.

How you can’t think of anything until you’re

With me.

should be

You say you can’t love, I believe that

But I can

And that’s the biggest hurt of all.



dreams 4

We watched a movie together

In which his love was proven when

He joined her in her descent into madness

Rather than abandon her


I am not certain that I could join you

If madness were your fate

But the madness of my love

Would never allow me to desert you

When you needed me most


I would stand with you as you go

Through your private hell

Holding your body as you tremble

Lending my ears as you scream out your agony


Drown in your eyes as your tears make a lake

Follow in your footsteps as you wander

Your path to nowhere


Believe in your words that have no meaning

Love you unconditionally because you are my heart


Never giving up on you

Beneath your temporary shell of insanity


I would help you break that shell

For you to see, once again

The light of love

That even madness

Cannot extinguish

sun in sky



From my book:


Big Ass Grin

colorful woman

The perspective has changed.

What once seemed so wrong now seems absolutely right.


Guilt and the worry of what others might think

Now gets tossed out like a bag of dog shit

Because it is shit.



dog poop


Why worry about how you might shake up someone else’s

Sense of normal or what they feel is wrong or right.




Your life is your own…you were meant to live it.

Not twist your head in circles to see who might be watching

And condemning.


If you’re going to look, search for the person who is nodding his head

And wearing a big ass grin.

Because he’s the one who knows exactly who you are and loves you for it.


big pig grin

The Monsters in My Closet

monsters in closet 2

They’re still there.

They’ll wait forever.

They know I think of them.

They call my name.

fighting demons

They want me to come back to them.

They hate that I left them, that they don’t scare me any longer.

That my loss of fear makes them weaker.

That their loss of control makes me stronger.

They also know that their hold still lingers.

That it would only take one broken trust to push me back into their arms.

demons 2

So they wait for me to lose my heart to love,

Because love is the biggest hurt of all.

For my faith to be shattered,

Because God is supposed to keep those we love safe.

They wait for me to lose hope.

Because without hope, there is no safe place.

monster in the closet

The monsters hide behind the thin door, peeking through the cracks.

The cracks may be small and jagged, but the monsters know how easily they splinter.

They wait. They are patient. They know I have my whole life, so they constantly jiggle the knob.

monster in closet 3