The Bottle

The distance grows

Time apart seems like death

distant

Knowing that the space will spread

Until the gap becomes a black hole

distant 5

Feeling as though the tunnel is too long

Too far

To reach you

distant 6

Yelling out your name

An echo my only answer

distant 2

Throwing out a lifeline

Filled with love

And hope

Begging you to grab it

In order to save you from

Your lonely solitude of depression and despair

distant 3

But the bottle

Battles me each day

Taking you further and further into the blackness

distant 4

I don’t know how long I can hold on

Without eventually following you into the abyss

In order to be with you

If it’s the only way to hold you.

distant 7

 

Two Doors

~This was written by my daughter. 

By Allison New

 two doors

In the moment of death, she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she stood before two black doors, in an empty room.

As she stared, knowingly at the doors, a warm presence came to her. He asked which door she would chose.

She knew without question, that one door would lead to Heaven and the other to Hell. There were no distinctive markings; there was no indication as to which eternity she would walk into as she passed through her ominous door.

Her mind raced, she tried to remember every good and bad thing she had done in life. She weighed the choices she had made, the words she had said, and the things she had done. In her mind she placed her Earthly life onto a scale. As it moved back and forth, she felt a growing fear in the pit of her stomach. The scale was leaning towards the darkness.

She had failed, she was going to Hell. She couldn’t go back. She couldn’t change her past.

She turned to the Angel standing next to her. Tears pouring from her eyes.

“I tried to be good. I tried to be kind. I did my best.”

The Angel stood still, his eyes deep, and unwavering.

She fell to the floor, where she cowered, and trembled in fear of what was to come.

Finally, the Angel spoke, “You must open your door.”

She tried to stand, but fell, she looked to the Angel for help; but he had left.

This was her moment, she was alone.

She crawled and dragged her tired body across the floor. Her eyes fixed on her door. Her heart was broken and empty.

Her soul was screaming.

She reached for the cold, brass door knob, and pulled herself up.

As she began to turn the door knob, she thought of her children and the happiness they brought to her life. In her last moment of peace, she thought of their smiles and heard their sweet voices one more time.  With her last bit of strength she pushed the door open, and fell.

She fell into the arms of the Angel, and was enveloped into love.

She cried out with fear and joy.

She knew instantly that the man before her was no Angel; this was the son of God.

She looked into the eyes of her savior and saw the face of the Lord.

She wept into his arms, “I thought I was damned. I thought I would burn.”

He looked to her and said, “You did not deny me on Earth, nor shall I deny you in Heaven. I gave my life, so you would live, and you shall live with me for all eternity.”

Portrait of Lies

your eyes see a picture of perfection

but buried beneath the beautiful

package is something outside the truth

man

secrets, lies, deception

all tumble over one another

in a wildly beating heart

scared

a heart panicked at discovery

and the inevitable destination

of a life carefully crafted

sly smile

a smile tricked out at the corners

speaks of a lover kept secret

eyes gazing into a memory of

citrusy bedrooms and paisley bedspreads

where two bodies writhe in desperate abandon

cheating

chasing away lost hope and daily drudgery

looking to find a past youth

and forgotten excitement

guilt

but ends with guilt weighing heavily

as true love smiles tenderly

from a portrait of perfection.

 

From my book:

http://www.amazon.com/This-Aint-Shakespeare-Sure-Real/dp/1413745318/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423050857&sr=8-1&keywords=this+ain%27t+shakespeare

The Biggest Hurt

I sit with a beer  in one hand, a cigarette in the other

beer and cigarette

I watch the cars drive by, on their way to where?

Home? Walmart? Work?

cars

In a hurry, worried about how to make the rent

The mortgage, if their wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriend

Are gonna be pissy or happy.

Are they gonna get laid or shut out?

My thoughts are of you.

thinker

I drink to forget you.

Drink to forget me.

How we can’t be in the same room with one another

Without wanting to be together.

passion

About how when it’s over, you can just leave

without another thought of me

Until your loins burn and your gut hungers for my touch

My lips, my mouth.

Then you think of me

Your needs, your desires.

How you can’t think of anything until you’re

With me.

should be

You say you can’t love, I believe that

But I can

And that’s the biggest hurt of all.

 

Let It In

waiting for love

I’ve waited and waited for you to see me

See that I’m worth it

That I have so much to give

So much to offer

love_is_poison_by_ladyxxloser

But you don’t want it

Don’t need it

You’d rather be alone

Rather be on your own

bitter and alone

Don’t want to trust anyone

Don’t want to give your heart

Afraid to give up your independence

In order to share your life with another

train

I can’t keep trying to convince you

That I don’t want to hurt you

That I don’t want to change you

That I don’t want to own you

alone and bitter

What’s the alternative?

Alone, distrustful, bitter, angry

You could have so much more

If you’d only open the door

And let your heart walk thru

To the open arms on the other side

And let them wrap around you

monster on other side

Let you see that love is nothing to be afraid of

In the end it really is all you need

 

scary love

 

 

 

 

A Vision of Peace

1002419_10200478674518959_1822352968_n

My brother comes to me in a dream

And speaks to my heart

The silence penetrates the stillness

A mist-like fog swallows my body

woman dreaming 4

My arms outstretched

But I touch nothing

A feathery lightness grazes my shoulder

Then is gone

gentle spirit

A quiet whisper and a playful breeze

Gently lifts my hair

But I see nothing

A soft caress trails across my arm

Giving me a sense of something known

But forgotten

loving spirit

A feeling of trust overwhelms

A shadowy face appears

A well-loved smile shines

Through the haze

ray of sunshine

The voice

Tells me my worries

Can be put aside

His soul is at peace

sunset

His diseased body

Now left behind

His mind is at ease

My anxieties fade away

My brother is finally free

a vision of peace

 

From my book:

http://www.amazon.com/This-Aint-Shakespeare-Sure-Real/dp/1413745318/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423050857&sr=8-1&keywords=this+ain%27t+shakespeare

 

The Journey

the journey

Tears of sadness are a river that turns into an ocean.

A smile that lifts only at the corners when asked, “How are you doing?”

lying smiles

Lies behind the smile that answers, “I’m fine.”

lost love

Questions bounce through her head.

Love, why has it gone? Where did it go?

Yesterday they were together, they had loved so deeply.

Listening to the radio, every song reminding her of him.

Screaming as the pain rips into her soul. Their love was supposed to last forever.

Alone in their bed. His warmth just a memory.

facing the truth

Facing the truth. Their needs were not the same. They could never have been forever.

Learning to love herself, to find who she was, to live on her own terms.

Tears of release and peace.

peace 2

Full circle she has come.

the journey 2

 

 

From my book:

http://www.amazon.com/This-Aint-Shakespeare-Sure-Real/dp/1413745318/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423050857&sr=8-1&keywords=this+ain%27t+shakespeare