It’s been said you should fall in love with a man who makes your stomach drop when he walks into a room; a man whose smile melts your heart; a man who with one long up and down glance can make your clothes fall right off.
That this man might be the man you were meant to be with forever. The Ying to your Yang; the heat that scorches your soul.
Then ask your mother what her opinion of him is and she’ll tell you – “He’s gonna break your heart, that kind of man always does.”
You’re young though and this is the first time you’ve ever felt this way, so you’ll defend him. “No way! He loves me! He’s the love of my life.”
Your mother will smile and pat your hand. “Oh honey. Just enjoy this moment – cuz that’s all he’ll be. In the long run, look for a man who makes you laugh and will take you dancing. Because those are the things that last.”
You’ll roll your eyes and call your mother crazy. You’ll forget that she’s probably been down this road – maybe even once or twice – and that she might just know what she’s talking about. Still, you’ll shake your head and question her advice. What does she know? She’s been married to your father for a gazillion years, how could she
know what it’s like to have a man set her heart on fire?
Six months later though, when her arms are around you and your crying your eyes out over, “the one true love of your life” she won’t say, “I told you so.” She won’t patronize you; she won’t laugh at your foolish stubbornness. In fact she won’t do anything except hold you and rock you as you weep.
She’ll brush away your tears, tell you how much she loves you and smooth your hair as you fall into a broken-hearted sleep. She’ll do exactly for you what her mother did for her. Because she’ll know, as her mother knew, that your heart will mend and that you’ll fall in love again. She’ll know because she’s had her heart broken by the same kind of man. She also knows that this won’t be the first broken heart you’ll suffer from, that you’ll likely fall in and out of love several times until the real love of your life comes along. Because she knows that love is as much a necessity as food and water. That life isn’t as good without it.
She knows this because she’s been married to your father for a “gazillion” years. That they found one another after many broken hearts and tears. Because he’s the one who can still make her laugh when life doesn’t seem so funny. That he’s the one who takes her dancing just to see her smile as he twirls her around the dance floor.
Yes, your mother knows this and until you discover it, she’ll be there to wipe away your tears each time you trip over your feet instead of letting them lead you to the man who’ll take you dancing.
Your mother knows all this, but she also knows you’ll figure it out on your own and that someday you’ll share that wisdom with your own child, just as your grandmother did with her. And she also knows that your child will think you’re as crazy as you think your mother is and that you’ll be there to smooth your child’s hair after that first broken heart.
Yup – that’s life and love.